I've been thinking a lot lately about choice and fate, decisions and destiny. I don't know why. Maybe it's turning 40, I mean 29 again, but it seems like the line between the two is getting blurrier and blurrier.

For instance, when I moved from Mass to Indiana, I thought it would be a better life for my family. Turns out, it has been. Maybe not in every way. We still have problems, still struggle from time to time, but the problems are different, the struggles seem less strenuous. On the flip side, we miss our families terribly. We made a decision to do what we thought was best for us and our children, and in some ways it has turned out that way. In other ways it hasn't.

What if we had stayed in Massachussetts? We would still be struggling to get by. But maybe something good would have happened there that won't happen here. Maybe we missed out on our 'big break'. Maybe our 'big break' is waiting for us here in Indiana. Maybe it's somewhere else. Maybe it's nowhere. Maybe we don't have a 'big break' in our future. Maybe there is no such thing as a 'big break'.

If I were a pessimist, which I have been accused of being, I would say that it is our destiny to struggle through life. It is fate that keeps us in the position we are in. We have no choice but to try our best, and accept what life gives us.

If I were an optimist, which I most definitely am not, I would say that it could have been much worse. I could have moved to California, maybe Nancy Pelosi's district. That, I am sure, is one half step removed from hell on earth. We could have stayed in Mass and lost everything, what little we had, when the economy collapsed. We could be in much worse shape than we are, so we should be grateful for what we have and not anger the gods by wishing for more.

Thankfully, I am neither a pessimist or an optimist. I am a realist. This means, basically, that I don't believe that my 'fate' or 'destiny' is controlled by anyone but myself. I made the decision to move to Indiana. I will accept the consequences. I made the choice to work where I work, to do what I do for a living. If I don't like it, which I don't, It's up to me to change it, which I may. The point is, it is up to me. No force or forces outside of myself control my life. I am free to decide my own future. If I decide poorly, it is not becaused I am cursed, or destined for failure. It is because I made the wrong choice. It means I need to pick myself up, dust myself off, and try again.
We all make bad decisions in life. We all make good decisions too. We can't blame the bad ones on fate and accept credit for the good ones. If we did that, we would all be democrats, and then where would we be?
I think that too much time is spent, wasted really, on trying to figure out who is to blame for a given situation. That applies to every situation, whether it be personal, political or 'something else that starts with p'. (sorry, I'm a sucker for alliteration, and for groupings of 3, but I couldn't think of anything that fit). We need to stop living in the problem, and start living in the solution. (God, I sound like Tony Robbins don't I?).
I will end with this thought; (no more parentheses, I promise) no matter the direction your life takes, regardless of what happens, it can all be traced back to one decision, one choice you have made that set the engine in motion. Once that engine is in motion, it may take a lot to stop it and get it going in the other direction, but we all have the power within us to do just that. All it takes is another choice, another decision, as difficult as it may be, and your life will turn in a different direction. You may not be happy with it, but at least you know it was all up to you.