Contrary to popular belief, I do not hate the environment. In fact, in an indirect way, it's how I make my living. If people didn't want to see healthy trees, pretty flowers, and lush green grass, I wouldn't have a job. So no, I don't hate the environment. What I do hate is environmentalists. Maybe hate is too strong a word. Maybe it's just dislike. There are so many different kinds of environmentalists it's difficult to keep them separated in my mind. Some of the ones I don't mind so much are the Ed Begley Jr. type. They live the way they want us all to live. They are very annoying at times, but at least they're not hypocrites. Look, if you want to recycle, go ahead. If you want to eat only organic vegetables, knock yourself out. Just don't tell me I should be doing the same. That's just going to make me do the exact opposite. If you tell me I need to recycle to save the planet, I'll tell you that if noone in the country recycled for the next 100 years, we could fit all the trash created in an area the size of Columbus, Ohio. This would actually be an improvement for Columbus, but that's a story for another day. I don't recycle, and part of the reason is people like you telling me I have to. Organic vegetables may be fresher, tastier, and better for you than the canned variety. I don't care. I like my vegetables preserved in a can so that their expiration date can be measured in nuclear half life. That's because I don't like vegetables. I haven't eaten one on purpose, other than a potato or 2, in about 15 years. I need them to last a long time in the cabinet. As I said, these people don't bother me too much. I think they would gain more traction if they just tried to lead by example, instead of tsk tsking us and trying to guilt us into being more environmentally conscious. Look, Ed, I get that you love the environment. I think it's great that you can power your entire house with solar panels, windmills, and some kind of turbine you had hooked up to your excercise bike so you can get a good workout while you save the planet. Most of us don't have the time, money, or the OCD that you do. We just don't care all that much. Another type seems to feel that animals are more important than people. These are the folks that don't mind diverting precious water from farmers in California in order to save some kind of bait fish that may or may not be disapearing from some area. Sure, save the river smelt, or whatever it is, and let's not worry about the farmers. They're only growing food to feed people. People don't really need to eat. And let's not allow fishermen to use the bait fish as bait anymore either. They're only catching fish that may go to feed more people. I don't really see what their problem is with the last one. If the smelt is so wonderful, why shouldn't the fish get to eat it? Shouldn't their last meal on earth be a good one? These are the same people that don't want to drill for oil in ANWAR because it may disurb the caribou. First of all, who really cares about caribou. Second of all, any oil we can extract and refine in our own country reduces the amount of oil we have to buy from Saudi Arabia. They take the money we send and spread it around to great organizations like Hezbollah and Al Quaida. Thirdly, drilling for oil has become such an advanced science that, if you had a pool beneath your backyard in Southern California, BP could get it out from somewhere in the Nevada desert and you would never know it was there. It wouldn't even cause your swingset to lean to one side. I could go on and on, but I want to get to my favorite environmentalist of all. That's right, the man who invented the internet, Al Gore. I know he didn't exactly claim to have invented the world wide web, but it's still funny to say. Here is a guy that rode Bill Clinton's coattails for 8 years, waiting for his chance. He was vice president to one of the most popular and charismatic presidents of recent times. Regardless of where you stand politically, everyone loves them some Bubba. He finally got his chance. His opponent was some hokey, spoiled brat son of an ex-president who couldn't put together a sentence longer than 4 words without misspeaking, mispronouncing, or, in the opinion of many, misleading his audience. No way could a yokel from Texas defeat this intellectual giant in an election, until he did. So what did old Al do? He sued of course, and thankfully lost. Of course, had he won, perhaps we wouldn't have been subjected to his new career as the patron saint of global warming. Thank goodness the rest of the country noticed that the emperor wasn't wearing any clothes before they managed to push through the cap and trade bill. Sadly, Al managed to make a boatload of money by lying to the public about the imminent threat of climate change, but he wasn't alone. Do you really believe that knucklehead could have come up with a scam of that magnitude on his own? He was just the face of that charade. The thing I remember most about him is a video I saw of him answering an Irish reporter's question with a question. (once a politician, even a bad one, always a politician) Al was talking about the plight of the polar bear, how it was nearing extinction. The reporter had the temerity to point out, quite correctly, that the polar bear population was actually increasing and asked Al to explain his point. Al responded by asking him, "But do you feel that the polar bear is endangered?" This pretty much sums up the entire climate change fury. Never mind the facts, how do you feel? Reasoned discussion has no place in this argument. You are either with us, or you, sir, are worse than Hitler. I don't hate the environment. I don't hate environmentalists. I don't hate Al Gore. Well, maybe a little. And I don't hate polar bears. Human beings are on the top of the food chain for a reason. We have managed to create something on this planet that no other species has accomplished. Someday, another species may come along that is smarter, stronger, and more adaptable than us. Let's enjoy our time at the top. The planet was here long before us, and it will be here long after we're gone. I don't care about river smelts or recycling. I'm not worried about the environment or environmentalists or Al Gore's bank account. I care about people, and the only thing I think about when I look at a polar bear is how it tastes. Maybe on the grill with a little cajun seasoning and some rice pilaf on the side.